Little Miss Perfect
by infinitekitten
Summary: Holland Gilbert, Elena's older and perfect sister. Everything in Holland's life was perfect until the night of the accident that claimed both her parents life. She was stuck in a coma for three months and is left to rot in the guilt of killing her parent. Now nothing is close to perfect for Holland.
1. Chapter 1

**So I just started watching Vampire Diaries a couple months ago and now I just wanted to write a fanfiction about it so enjoy. Face claim for Holland is Lily Collins and I don't own TVD.**

**Prologue **

Tonight is the night of this big party. It is to kick off the start of the summer and senior year. I've been waiting for this my whole entire life. Senior year, I mean come on, one last year of high school before I leave. Sure I'm going to miss my family but I'll get to see them on the weekends.

"Holland!" I hear my little sister shout, I roll my eyes. "What do you want Elena? I'm kind of busy right now." I say annoyed. I hear her footsteps as she races to my room, "What should I wear tonight?" she asks me holding up two outfits. I narrow my eyes at her, "Really Lena? I'm busy, I don't have time for this" I say and turn away from her.

I go back to perfecting my eyeliner and eye shadow. "Come on Holly, you're making me go with you, the least you can do is help me pick an outfit" she says. I turn and glare at her, "The one on the left" I say through my teeth.

She gives me an annoyed smile, rolls her eyes and leaves. I let out a sigh; my parents are making me take Elena with me because they want her to keep an eye on me. Like I need it, I can watch myself. As soon as I finish my makeup, I pick up my black dress strapless dress and put it on.

I fix my long light brown hair in curls that reach my mid back. I look in the mirror and see a beautiful girl; I smirk and flick a piece of hair back. "Perfect" I say to myself then my phone starts to ring, I pick it up with a smirk. "Took you long enough Lockwood" I say playfully, "Hey H, I'm waiting for you to get here, I'm lonely and Kyle is being an asshole" Tyler says.

Tyler Lockwood aka my best friend and a major asshole, I've known Tyler since I was a baby and although he can be a complete asswipe, he's my complete asswipe. I trust him with my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. "I'm on my way, I'm waiting on Elena and I'll be there in five" , I hear him laugh. "Well you'd better hurry H" I hang up and grab my keys.

"Elena! Let's go!" I shout as I run downstairs, "I'm going!" she yells back. I reach the front door and see my parents waiting for us. "Honey you look beautiful" my mom says, I smile and hug her and my dad. "Nothing less from the captain of the cheer team" my dad says, "Co-Captain" I hear Elena say as she comes down the stairs.

I turn and glare at her, she sticks her tongue out at me. I turn back to my parents, "Caroline got really good this year, and I'm leaving soon so I thought I'd give her a chance" I say with fake niceness. Elena scoffs, she knows how much I hate Caroline, yet she's still best friends with her. "Look we got to get going, I love you two and I know the rules bye!" I say and rush out the door.

I get into my car and start it up. Elena is still in the house, I honk and she comes running out. She opens the passenger door and sits. "They said be good" she says, I laugh and roll my eyes. "When am I not Lena?" I say with a sweet smile.

We get to the party and I ditch Elena as fast as I can. I spot Tyler and my wonderful boyfriend Kyle; I run up to Kyle and grab his hand. "Hey babe" I whisper in his ear, he smirks and wraps his arms around me. "Hey Holly" he says and kisses me, I hear Tyler make a gagging noise. I roll my eyes and separate myself from Kyle.

"Tyler play nice" I say with a playful smile he laughs and hands me a red cup. "Drink up H, you're going to need it with this boring old guy" Tyler says. Kyle laughs out loud, I take the cup from Tyler and I drink. I cough as the burning liquid hits the back of my throat.

"Wow that was strong, what are you doing Ty? Trying to poison me?" I say with a sly smile. "Only the best for queen H" he says and walks away. I turn to Kyle and smile sweetly at him, "So do you have the stuff?" I ask him. He nods and pulls out a baggie full of pills, and hands me one.

I glare at him "Oh come on, one isn't going to do anything Kyle" I say annoyed. He sighs and hands me two more and I raise my eyebrow and he hands me another two, I smile with delight. I kiss him and down the pills with my alcohol, "Holly maybe you shouldn't have taken that many" he says worried.

I roll my eyes, I usually never do this many pills in one day or at a time but I want to loosen up. I start to feel the effect of the pill, I feel like I'm floating. I turn back to Kyle "Let's dance" I shout at him and drag him to the dance floor.

Everything feels like a blur and I feel so happy. Kyle pulls me closer and we start to make out, I pull away from him and start to run away from him. "Catch me if you can" I laugh and start swaying my head. "Holland!" I turn and see Elena, I start to giggle "Hey little sister, oh my gosh you look so sparkles" I say.

She looks at me like I'm crazy. "Are you drunk?" she asks me, I nod and smile. Then suddenly my head starts to pound and my knees start to shake. "Hol are you okay?" Elena asks but all I hear is voices. All the voices I tried to keep out, "Oh no, no, no. No" I start to murmur. I drop on the floor and start to panic.

"Holland!" I hear Elena yell at me, I start to shake my head. Everything is turning foggy, "Hey mom, can you pick us up, there is something wrong with Holland, she's on the floor and I don't know if she's okay" I hear Elena say, then everything turns black.

* * *

I open my eyes and everything is foggy. "Mom she's awake!" I turn and see Elena, "Honey don't close your eyes okay, Elena did you see what she took?" my mom asks Elena. I start to close my eyes again, "No! Holland!" I hear my mom shout and then its dark again.

* * *

Cold I feel cold, I try to breathe but I can't. I'm underwater; I open my eyes and see my mom, my dad and Elena. We are all stuck, Elena is panicking and my dad grabs her hand. My lungs are on fire, I can't take it anymore. So I let it in.


	2. Chapter 2

**Can I just say senior year is kicking my butt? Anyway here's a new chapter! I'm sorry If its not very good I'm just so bleh lately. So read, review and follow and favorite and enjoy! Check my polyvore for outfits! Its on my bio!**

Life sucks and then you die. That is really how I feel life is. My life was perfect, every little thing was perfect. I had good grades; I had the perfect boyfriend, at the time, the perfect best friend and the perfect family. That was before the accident that claimed both of my parents' lives and in a way my life.

I guess you can say I will never be the same; it was my fault that we were in the accident in the first place. If I didn't do all those drugs, if I just had been a good girl everything would have been alright. My parents would still be alive and I wouldn't hate myself so much.

But I just pretend I'm okay, because maybe if I do then I will be okay. I have to get my life on track; Elena and Jeremy need me more than ever. I have to show them that I can do it, I can be the best older sister that I can be.

After my parents death I felt like a knife was stabbed into my heart. Let's just say I'm not that good at mourning, I was in the hospital for a month and when I got out I did some really unspeakable things. I went out all the time and slept with random guys and came home every night completely trashed.

I stopped doing drugs, after the party I just couldn't do it anymore, but in its place I started drinking, and by that I mean a lot, And every day.

It didn't help that I hear those damn voices all the time. The reason for my excessive drug use. They aren't like clear voices, more like mumbles, murmurs and some random language I don't know. I stopped trying to understand them and I just try to ignore them.

That's why I did drugs they stopped them or made it easier to live with it. With drinking it didn't stop them it just made them bearable.

Today Elena, Jeremy and I are going back to school and can I just say that I am not looking forward to it. I just want to crawl into a deep hole and stay there forever. But I have to try for Elena ad Jeremy and my Aunt Jenna who are all trying their best to keep me sane. I mean how hard can school be?

I used to run that place and it's my senior year I can't miss it.

I stand in the middle of my room looking in the mirror, I'm dressed in a pink floral dress and white heels and I feel like my old self. I place my hand on my tiny silver anchor necklace my parents got me for my 17th birthday last year.

I let out a sigh, I miss them so much. "Holland Miranda Gilbert get down here!" I hear my aunt Jenna shout. I grab my white purse and head downstairs, I see my aunt rushing around the kitchen. "Morning Aunt Jenna" I say with a smile, she sees me and smiles. "You're going to be late" she says and turns and opens the refrigerator. "I need to make breakfast" she says rapidly.

I hear someone come down the stair, I turn and see Elena I wave with a kind smile and she smiles back. We have gotten a lot closer since the accident. "Toast. I can make toast" aunt Jenna says and closes the fridge.

I let out a laugh, Elena walks over to the coffee machine. "It's all about the coffee Aunt Jenna" Elena says I nod in agreement, "Is there coffee?" I turn and see Jeremy. He looks at me and nods, I give him a shy smile. Now Jeremy and my relationship is destroyed, he hates me.

He walks over to Elena and takes her coffee, I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and lean against the table. "Your first day of school and I'm totally unprepared." Jenna walks over to Elena and Jeremy "Lunch money?" Jeremy takes it, "I'm good" Elena says.

Aunt Jenna goes back to her purse, I start to drift off as she starts talking to Elena and Jer. The slam of the door shakes me out of my daze. Jer pushes past me, I look at Elena and she sighs. "It's getting worse" she says, I take a deep breath, "Don't worry about it Lena, I can take care of him" I say.

She looks at me worried, "Are you sure? I mean are you okay?" she says with concern.

" What happened after I got out of the hospital won't ever happen again Elena, I swear, I stopped with the drugs."

"What about the drinking, Hol? I see the bottles you try to hide in your room and I know that their death was hard on you but I'm worrie-" I cut her off , "And you shouldn't be Lena, I'm fine, like I said it won't happen again." I turn and head for the door, "You don't want a ride to school from Bonnie?" Elena asks.

I shake my head, "No, I think I'm going to drive my car" she looks at me with concern. I give her a quick hug, "Bye" and with that I rush out the door.

I reach the school in record time and rush to my locker. I turn the dial and put my combination in, but the locker won't open. "Ugh really?" I growl at the locker, I punch it and turn abruptly into a person. "Wow can't seem to stay away huh" I look up and see Tyler, "Ty!" I say with surprise, I wrap my arms around him, "God I missed you Hol, like it was literal hell" he says.

I laugh, "Really? Hell?" I say skeptically, he barks out a laugh. "Tyler!" we both turn and I see Matt running toward us. I unconsciously hold my breath, then he notices me and stops running towards us and he looks at me with a blank expression.

Then he turns around and walks away, I let out a sharp breath through my teeth. Tyler turns back to me, "What just happened?" he asks with confusion. I bit my lip and look up at him shyly, "No Hol, you didn't" he says with a sly smile. I close my eyes and sigh, "It was during the unspeakable period, I was not in the right mind set?" I say with embarrassment.

"Look I know sister's ex's are off limits but I didn't know better at the time so please don't say anything" I say pleading. "My lips are sealed" he says with a laugh the stops, "Have you talked to Kyle?" I roll my eyes, "Please that druggie, no thanks, look I have to get to class, I'm plaining on graduating this year" I say and leave him by himself.

School goes by in a breeze, I walk to the parking lot searching through my purse for my keys. When I bump into someone and drop my keys. "Watch where you're going" I say harshly, I look up and see the most beautiful being I have ever seen.

He has lightish brown hair and gorgeous green eyes, he smiles at me "My bad" he says and I snap myself out of it. He kneels down and grabs my keys then hands them to me, I take them and as I do the voices get louder, I let out a groan and pull my hand away, "Thanks" I say briskly and walk away.

That was super weird, I get in my car and start to drive. I get home and see aunt Jenna sitting on the couch, she spots me and waves. "How was school" I shrug and head upstairs to my room. I sit on my desk and plug in my ipod and start my homework.

I finish my homework quickly and head downstairs for a snack and see Elena talking to aunt Jenna. They both turn when they hear me open the fridge, "Hey, I'm headed to the grill want to come?" she asks, I debate whether I want to stay and do nothing.

"Sure" I say and grab my keys, "I'll drive" I say and we start for the door. Elena opens it and the hot guy from earlier is standing there, "Sorry , I was about to knock. I wanted to apologize for my disappearing act earlier. I know it was strange" he says.

I scoff and he looks at me, "Are you a stalker or something?" I mumble annoyed. Elena glares at me and I smile sweetly, she turns back to the guy.

"No worries, I get It blood makes you squeamish" she says, I groan silently. I start to ignore the two of them and take out my phone and text Tyler to meet me at the grill. Elena shakes me and I look at her confused, "What?" I say annoyed.

"We're leaving" she says and I look at hot guy, "We who?" I say and she sighs and looks to hot guy. "Sorry she does this a lot," then turns back to me "Me, You and Stefan" she says I look at her with confusion. Then back to hot guy, he smiles shyly "Oh you" I say and he nods. I nod, "Okay, let's go" I say and walk out the door.

We reach the Mystic Grill aka the social gathering spot for everyone in Mystic Falls. I enter the grill and right away Matt who is talking to Bonnie stares at us as we walk in and walks toward us with determination. "Well look at that, I need a drink" I say and walk away and toward the bar.

I see Tyler and rush toward him, "Please tell me you got me a drink" I say taking a seat across from him. He lets out a laugh, "You wish but no I didn't, why don't you ask Matt he's working right now" I roll my eyes at his taunting. I look over at Matt and see him talking to Elena and Stefan, I shake my head.

"No, I think I'm just going to flirt my way for one" I stand up and head toward the bar, I see a pretty good looking guy tending the bar. I wave my hand and smile sweetly, he smiles at me and walks over. "Hey" he says with a smile, I grin "Hi" I say twirling a strand of hair with my finger. "What can I get you?" he says, "Well I could really use some vodka" I say charmingly.

He grins at me and nods his head and hands me the drink, "Thanks so much" I say and walk back to Tyler, he looks up at me and rolls his eyes. "How do you always do that" he says trying to take my drink, I pull it away from him and take a sip.

"It's because I'm hot" I say with confidence, he laughs "Well I know somebody who thinks you're hot, Matt" I scoff. "He talks about you, you know. He used to crush on you before he was with Elena and I t-" "No, just stop Ty, I don't want to hear it, I'm just gonna drink my sorrows" I say and take another sip.

"So there's a party tomorrow and before you say anything, please" he says, I sigh "You now I have strict rules now," he gives me a puppy dog stare, "Ugh fine, fine, I'll go" I say and down my drink, my phone starts to vibrate and I see a text from Elena.

_Where are you?-Elena _I look around and see Elena, Bonnie, Caroline and Stefan. I groan, I really do not want to go over there. I look up a Tyler "I got to go Ty, Elena just texted so I'll see you tomorrow" I say and stand up and walk away.

I approach Elena's table, Bonnie spots me and smiles while Caroline has a permanent bitch face. "Hey Holly how are you?" Bonnie asks I smile and shrug "I'm good" I hear Caroline snort. I roll my eyes, god I need another drink.

I turn to Caroline "Oh you are just so full of it Care" I say and turn to Elena, "Can you catch a ride with Bon, I'm going to be home a little late" and with that I'm out the door.

I spent that night and my parents graves and drinking away my pain. My head is pounding and my palms are sweating, ugh hangovers are the worse. I enter my bathroom and throw on a back button up shirt and black high waisted jeans. I lace up my black heels and head downstairs, nobody is home.

I check the clock and see its already 10 o'clock, "Great! I'm freaking late" I groan out and grab my bag and leave.

School is uneventful, I got scolded for being late and the day went by. I decide to just go to the party in my school clothes because I feel lazy.

I spot Elena and Bonnie as soon as I get there, I smile and make my way toward them. "Oh, okay so he's a little pretty" I hear Elena say. I snort, "Let me guess, Stefan Salvatore right?" I say and Elena blushes, "He has that romance novel stare" Bonnie says and I laugh out loud, "More like the creeper stalker stare" I say.

Elena laughs and playfully pushes me, "Well I'm going to go mingle and have fun see you two later" Elena stops me before I leave, "Try not to party too hard" she says with worry. I nod and leave them to find a drink, not able to find Tyler anywhere, I stole a bottle from the party and am now wandering the woods.

I start to get bored so I do only thing I know how to do, drink more. Then I hear footsteps behind me and I get this strange feeling, the voices start to grow. I turn and see Vicki Donovan, Matt's older sister and one of my old friends.

"Oh god you scared me Vick" I say and walk toward her just then I see something behind her, a person and the voices scream, and so do I, then everything goes black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the wait, I just finished my first year of college and really am trying to update all my stories.**

_**Italics are internal dialogue**_

**Sebastian's face claim is Chace Crawford with his longer hair**

"_Holland it's your turn to choose the game board tonight and please no more Life" my mom says. Elena laughs, I turn and glare at her, I go into the drawer full of games and pull out a random one and toss it to my dad. "I don't get why we can't play Life, I mean it's the perfect game" I say annoyed. I hear Jeremy scoff at my statement, "Its only perfect game because you get to plan your perfect little life" he says._

_I roll my eyes and start setting up the game, "Well I don't get what's wrong with wanting the perfect life" I state. My dad sits next to me and puts his hand on my shoulder, "Sweetie, no matter how hard you try, your life won't be perfectly perfect". I sigh and reach for the instructions for the game, when I pull the paper up it is drenched in water._

"_Elena, don't tell me you spilled water on the game" I turn to glare at her, but I can move. Panic sets into me and I struggle to set myself free. The room is slowly being filled with water, "Mom! Dad!" I start to shout. And I see them appear in front of me, my dad reaches out for me, "It's okay Holly, you'll be alright" my mom says._

"_Open your eyes honey" my dad says, I start to cry. "My eyes are open, daddy help me" I sob, my parents faces drop sadly. "No Holland, they aren't, you have to open them, help yourself" he says, I try to calm down but I can't. _

"_Angelus meus, you need to wake up, this is just a dream!" a deep voice says. I whip my head around and see a young man with messy brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. He's dressed like he stepped out of the 1800s, in a white button down dress shirt, tucked into some brown slacks and brown suspenders._

_He moves toward me his arm reaching out toward me, I try to move away but I can't. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" I scream and start to thrash around, "Calm down angelus meus, you are going to be fine!" he shouts as the water raises more. " Who are you?! I don't want to die" I say in a panicked voice. " I am Sebastian your custos, your guardian" he says._

_The water is already at my chin, I sob harder and trash around even more than before as the water covers my mouth I scream as loud as I can. "It will be okay Holland, just wake up" is the last thing I hear before it goes all black._

"We need to keep her stable people!" I hear someone shout, I thrash around and hit anything my fists come into contact with. "Strap her down!" I start to scream, "Let me go!" I shout. "Clam down Miss Gilbert" I hear someone say, I open my eyes and a bright light invades my sight. "Where am I?" I say, my voice is coarse from all the shouting. Something is placed over my mouth and nose and my eyes start to droop close and everything is dark.

* * *

"She hasn't woken up yet?" I hear a voice say, "No, she had like a freak panic attack yesterday and they had to restrain her" another voice says.

"How's Vicki?" once I hear that name my eyes snap open, "Vicki!" I shout and sit up. "Wow calm down Holly!" I feel someone grab my shoulder, I turn and see Matt.

I look at him confused, I look around the room and notice I'm in a hospital. "What happened to me?" I look up at Matt, his eyes look weary and tired.

Elena launches herself on me and hugs me tight. "You and Vicki were attacked the night of the party in the woods" he says, I start to wonder by what. I don't remember being attacked; I don't remember anything from that night.

"Why aren't you with Vicki then?" I say, he sighs, "Vicki was released today, god Holland nobody thought you were going to wake up" he says his eyes getting watery.

I look away from him and scoff, "Of course I was going to wake up" I say with a cocky tone.

Elena backs off of me, "I'm going to get Aunt Jenna and the doctor" she says and runs out of the room. She comes back in an instant with my Aunt Jenna and a red headed doctor.

"Nice to see you up Holland, my name is Doctor Carrie" nurse Carrie approaches me and sits on the side of my bed. "So how are you feeling? Any light headedness?" She asks, "I'm fine, I feel just fine, look I just want to know how long was I unconscious? This is my senior year and I need to get perfect grades if I'm going to Yale" I say annoyed.

"Holland you were out for four days, you would wake up occasionally and just start shouting out gibberish, you lost a lot of blood and when they found you, they thought you were dead" my aunt Jenna says with a shaky voice.

I swallow a huge lump in my throat, this can't be happening, this year was supposed to be perfect. "Look doctor, what was it again? Carrie? I feel fine and I want to go home, so do whatever little tests you have too and let's get me out of here"

The doctor asks everyone to leave the room and she proceeds with her checkup.

"Well you look good as new, all your vitals are normal and you don't seem to have sustained any trauma, I guess you should just stay one more night for observation and you can leave tomorrow morning" she says and leaves my room.

Matt walks in by himself; I look at him confused as to why he's alone. "Where are Jenna and Elena?" I ask him with an agitated tone, he looks at me wary eyes. "The doctor wanted to talk to them" he says, I nod my head and look away from him, "Well I'm fine, I really don't need you to look after me" . He scoffs, at the attitude in my voice.

"Why am I not surprised, not even near death can stop Holland Gilbert from being a major pain, Look I know you just woke up and I should really be considerate of your feelings but, do you really have to be so harsh to me?" Matt asks in a low tone, just in case anyone is in hearing range.

I look back at him and roll my eyes. He scoffs, "Of course you can't, it's just not in you to be yourself and stop acting like a total bitch, I don't even get why I try" he says. My eyes narrow in anger, "You're mad at me?! You don't have any right to be mad at me" I growl at him.

"I don't have any right? You used me Holland, just like you use everyone, you played with my feelings and twisted my mind" he says glaring at me. "I didn't mean to okay? I swear I would never do that" I say sadly, he sighs and rubs his face with his hand. "I shouldn't have brought this up, I'm sorry" he says as he sits on the hospital bed with me and grabs my hand.

I shake my head, "No, it's my fault" I say and lean back against the pillows on the bed. "I don't even care anymore, just glad you're okay" he says and pulls me into a hug. "Thank you Matt" my voice muffled into his chest. He lets me go and smiles, "Well I have to go get ready for the comet thing tonight, I'll see you tomorrow morning when you get out, okay?" he says.

I smile and nod, "Okay, have fun" I say and he leaves the room, Jenna walks in right after he leaves. She smiles widely at me, "Well the doctor said you're fine and I believe her, oh and Elena had to go do something, so are you hungry?" she asks me. I laugh, "Starving, I would like a Caesar salad wrap and a raspberry iced tea" it's my aunts turn to laugh. "Okay Miss Bossy Pants" Jenna turns around and walks out of the room.

I sigh; everyone is going to expect me to remember what happened that night but, I just don't know what happened. All I can remember is the voices and so many of them at a time, a tear falls from my eye and onto my hand. I didn't even realize I started crying, I wipe my eyes and take a deep breath. "Is this a bad time?" I look up and see Stefan Salvatore standing at the door. I shake my head, "No its not" I say quietly.

He walks into my room and gestures to the bed, "Can I sit?" he asks. "Yeah please do" I say confused as to why he's here. He sits down and as soon as he does the voices come back full force. I place a hand on my forehead and scrunch my face. "Are you okay?" he asks leaning forward, I put a hand out to stop him. "I'm fine, just a head ache" I say and drop my hands.

He grabs my chin and lifts my head up so we are at eye level, he green eyes fixated on my hazel eyes. _Don't look into his eyes angelus meus! _I hear a voice shout, I gasp and my head snaps up and out of his grasp. I start to look around, searching for the source of that voice and see the guy from my dream, Sebastian, standing there in front of the window in my hospital room, "What's wrong Holland?" Stefan asks, he looks towards the direction I'm looking at. I look at him my eyes wide with fear, "N-Nothing" I say, he grabs my chin again and our eyes lock.

His eyes draw me in and I feel like my soul is being pulled out and laid out in front of me. "What happened that night Holland? What did you see that night?" he asks, "I don't know, I can't remember" I say with panic, he lets out a low growl. His eyes search my face for some kind of answer, a tear falls from my eyes.

"Please don't hurt me Stefan" I whisper to him, he looks at me shocked. "I won't hurt you Holland" he gets off the bed and backs away from me. He sighs and looks me in the eyes once more, "I was never here, and we never talked". _"_But you are here and we did talk" I say confused and scared, his eyes narrow in confusion. He steps closer toward me but all of a sudden Sebastian steps in front of Stefan and creates some sort of barrier. Sebastian looks at me, _You do not remember what he said play along_ he says. Stefan repeats himself and I nod, "We never talked" I repeat and then he leaves.

I look at Sebastian with wide eyes, "What just happened?" I way calmly. _You survived your second meeting with a vampire _ he says, I look at him with shock. "A v-vampire?" I ask and he nods, "Stefan Salvatore is a vampire" I say with shock.

**Latin translation **

**custos- guardian **

**angelus meus-my sweet angel**


End file.
